Written by Tim "Naexos" Nordstedt

Here we have more movies about men that becomes infected with radiation and turned in to testosteronefilled zombies on viagra that makes them rape every women they get a spot on, well it´s from Japan so it have to be extra crazy, gory and great in general right? I mean if there something we have learned from Japanese movies it is that there is no limitation of their creative insanitylevel when it comes to black humour, gore, splatter, violence and taboo subjects and by the way what is the crime percentage in that country? 0,5% or something like that? well I guess that extreme movies don´t really mess up peoples brains, that is if they have a functional one. Let`s see if the land of the rising sun can compete with The Taint, I mean it´s Japan, right?

Lust of the Dead (2012)

The first thing i notice is that this movie was probably recorded with a cheap handcamera or someones cellphone, the second thing I noticed is that the filmmakers isn´t stalling anything, a couple of seconds into the movie a housewife get´s savagely beaten and raped because she didn´t greet Prince Charming on the welcome mat like a good wife, so after  she gives him what he deserves we immediately gets us thrown in to a rapezombie galore.

About 64% at least is a screening of bad rapescenes and then loads of clips of different personas trying to survive or fights back by severing or destroying penises and balls.
Several minutes into this spectacle that felt like at least one hour of watching japanese guys with gravely amateurish make up and fake blood on them ripping clothes of women and rape them until they die of zombiecum we actually have a small group that the story finally focuses on, well after it focused on a lesbian scene for some reason.

 Like I haven´t seen enough boobs already, I mean i like boobs as much as the next straight guy but there were so much boobexposing here that it´s beyond ridicolous, I am now completely indefferent too boobs, that´s how bad it is!
At least the mishmash of zombierapes and splashing of zerobudget fake and cgi blood has stopped for a while and if you are looking for gore, there is none, absolutely none, ok a severed zombiehand thats it and the Japanese black weirdo humour? well there are attempts to it, I think I almost smiled twice actually.

The group consists of four girls and a creepy, asexual, nerdy guy that got caught spying on the girl on girl action, it turns out that the nerdy guy lives in the house and he offers them a change of clothes to make up for it.

So now we have one dressed in a kimono, a second one as a maid and the third one in a schoolgirl uniform, now that´s not stereotypical at all, and the fourth one still has to wear her bloody old rags.
And from here we get more rape, targetpracticing on penises, a new female feminist prime minister  who doesn´t seem so stable and an oddly turn to an ending where the filmmakers tries to bind everything with a meaning in a philosophical way and no, no after that pile of cheap boobfilled composture I just saw that makes movies like Violent Shit, The Taint and Necro Files seem like Guillermo Del Toro have directed them, this movie have lost all it´s privilege to even attempt to come up with a smart remark but yes that ending was really worth an Oscar for Japanese oddities.
The worst thing about seeing this movie is the knowledge that i still have two more to go, how the hell could someone allow anyone to make a sequel to this one and even two of them, they were even made in the same year, I have now abandoned all hope of better things to come in the Lust of the Dead trilogy.

Oh dear... by all the things holy and unholy, 2 more got made this year, no, no way! I am going to finish these three then I´m converting to monkhood!

Lust of the Dead 2 (2013)

Alright, I have done my best to brace myself for this one and seeing the short length of this movie is already making me happier, so here goes nothing.

It starts with flashbacks from the first movie that I´m still trying to forget then I noticed that the camerawork is pretty decent but to be fair compared to the first one that doesn´t mean much, then attempt to  rape and wait does that zombie actually look zombieish? violence, decapitation , bloodspraying and it seems like they have a budget and a special fx team this time. Alot of things have happen since the first one got released and i mean alot!
The series went from a zerobudget, homemade quality to compete with the leading titles in Japanese splattermovies, sure it still have a way to go but it´s starting to close up.

In the second one the story is set in the post apocalyptic Japan were the men and women have been seperated from each other, the women lives safe in a borded off state where they even set up scientific studies to learn why the zombies are running around with constant erections and rape every women they can see, here is where a great parodylike scene of Day of the Dead and Return of the Living Dead can be seen, they actually manages to get a zombie to talk and it doesn´t help them much more than realizing how thickheaded and misogynistic the zombies are.

The state where the male lives in is not much better, they are getting frustrated, so frustrated that they decide to team up with the zombies to raid and rape.

We even get a female robot in the mix and a deeper meaning of the word Moe, wich obviously is an animé expression, i had to google it after this movie and I´m pretty sure that I will never have use for the term.

The second installment surprised me alot, it´s the movie that I hoped to see in the first place but it´s not solid, I am not sure if some of the background is greenscreen or a painting but it was pretty fun to see the actors in one special scene stamping around on the same spot pretending to walk forwards in front of that background. And the ongoing lesbian petting scene, jeeez, keep it to a 30 seconds at tops, it bored me half to death. In the ending everything started to get messy, flickering scenes and cuts that didn´t really make any sense but that was a litlle preview to the third one, so thanks for the spoilers.

Well this one clearly set the most things that was wrong with the first one straight and I actually look forward to the next one.

Lust of the Dead 3 (2013)

So this one is short too, 1 hour and 7 minutes and the first 7-8 minutes consists of flashbacks from the first and the second one and then not much happens, not at all. We learn the reason why the US sent a female warrior robot, relationship facts from the talking rapezombie, more lesbian scenes and a popconcert. After 43 minutes all hell breaks loose, the horde of horny men and zombies have arrived and crashes the gates which means loads of rape and women dying from toxic ejaculations and the freakiest giving head scene that got stuck on a cellular ever, but we can´t have a real rapefest without a gay rapezombie so now everyone is in a bit of a pickle.

And why... are you kidding me? it ended with a cliffhanger, now I have to see the rest of them.

Well it seems like 4 and 5 are not that easy to get a hold on so I´ll just leave that for the moment being.

I am not sure if there is a message in this movies, if there is then it is very confused one as it changes from men are mindless pigs, lets cut their balls off to women are heartless bitches and we should rape them all, it´s almost like they threw in one extremist feminist and a severe misogynistic penisbrainiac in a room and didn´t let them out until they had written a whole bunch of scripts ready.

The things I actually know after seeing these movies is that I will probably never see them again or maybe the second one, I have to see 4 & 5 and gay rapezombie wins all.